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| Hi there. I was wondering about people's experience with training and bed wetting pants. My son is 3+ and we are trying sooo hard to potty train. We're about 50% I think a lot of the problem is a control issue, and also just being busy boy. We have a 7 mo, and while he is an amazingly sweet big brother, he still likes to play the little baby sometimes. I'm ok with that, as far as cuddling and baby talk, but his poop is absolutely ATOMIC! I will be so grateful when I never have to change another one of those stink bombs. I was wondering how absorbent are the training pants and bedwetting pants relative to the OS (we're still using diapers) - am I going to have to clean puddles? I know part of the point is having them uncomfortable in their yucky cloths. I'm ok with that for a little while, but I imagine it would get old. Do they contain a big BM? How are they for sizing? My son is about 35 lbs, and I'm not sure if I should get the xs or s (for the bedwetting pants). They're pretty pricy, and I'd hate to have to buy more than one size at this point. We're so close! I keep trying to stay positive. I have a bunch of friends who tell me to take away all of his 'big boy toys' until he starts going on the potty 100%, but I just think that's mean... Any other advise on moving this potty train forward would be MUCH appreciated! Thanks for your advise. Anneke |
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As a mom of twin girls who weren't reliably dry during the day till well past their third birthday (at least 3-4 months as a matter of fact) I can totally sympathize. The best advice I can give you is to be patient and do NOT make a big deal out of 'accidents'. I know it's difficult and way easier said than done but remaining neutral about accidents and really positive about success is the best way to go. I agree with you that taking toys away is not a good thing. I can't see that having any positive effects and may in fact result in more setbacks than anything else. Most likely this is mostly beyond his control for a variety of reasons so it's kind of pointless to essentially punish him for something he can't help. There's more to being ready than just physical ability.
As for training pants and bedwetter pants, they're pretty different. Training pants definetly do NOT have the absorbancy of a diaper at all. But they're usually good for one full-on pee. In my experience you shouldn't have to clean up puddles unless your little one pees very quickly. For my son they worked wonderfully, I could even use them for naps and they did great. For my girls, they would hold it in and then let it go with a lot of force so they didn't do as well. Basically you shouldn't count on them to function like a diaper, they're not really meant to work that way. They're for small accidents and dribbles (like when they 'catch' themselves a little too late or when they don't quite make it to the bathroom on time kind of thing).
The bedwetter pants are pretty much only for nighttime and are quite absorbant. You definetly won't have any puddles but they're also very very bulky. Probably not your best bet for actual training, though they'll work well for nighttime if your son has outgrown the diapers. It's nice that they can pull them on/off by themselves. Be warned though that the bulk can really interfere with pj bottoms so if you have leaks it could easily be due to clothing being so tight that fabric creeps inside. Easy fix is to get larger pj bottoms and maybe even fleece ones if you can find them. Fleece doesn't wick so it's great for stuff like this.
One thing to remember with both training pants and bedwetter pants is that both are pull-on and off. This is good for overall training but quite messy if he still has a lot of poop accidents. Food for thought...
More potty advice, just keep trying and try varying how you approach it to see what works and what doesn't. If he doesn't like the potty, try the actual toilet (with or without a step stool). Try before meals, after meals. I'm not that fond of the 'treat' technique but it works well for some people. Just as long as whatever you do keeps things light and positive. He'll get it eventually and soon enough this will all just be a distant memory.
Karen.
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Oh, and if part of your concern is that he's outgrowing the One-Size, ME sells extender tabs for them that you can use. Not sure how much time they'll buy you but surely enough to last till he's daytime dry and maybe even nighttime dryness.
Karen. |
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I have a good friend whose son, well over 3, still wasn't potty-trained. She finally asked her pediatrician about it, and as they talked about it she realized that it really came down to control for her son. Not the bladder/sphincter control, because he had those, but being in control of that area of his life. The dr basically said, put him in diapers until he's ready, because otherwise it's playing into this cycle and gives him power over you. Take away that dynamic, and try to give him control and affirmation in other areas, and he'll come around.
Of course, that pediatrician wasn't the one dealing with the diapers and all! But she did find it valuable to see how much her obvious caring about it was giving her son (negative) control over it all. He didn't magically come around, but it slowly improved until he wasn't using the potty as a power struggle.
My DS#1 would sit on the toilet as long as he was being read to and gradually that led to being dry. DS#2 was a newborn, so it was a way for #1 to get positive, direct attention (while #2 "practiced rolling" on the floor). DS#2 has been a different story. He's figured out the mechanics of it all, but has violently resisted efforts to have him go regularly. Two nights ago he came to me and told me he wanted to go poopy on the toilet. (!!) And he did. (!!) It was one that I was very thankful not to have to clean up, and after years of trying not to say things like "icky" or "gross," about poop, I praised him for having his icky poopy in the toilet. For some reason that was really exciting to him, and for the past two days he wants to do an icky poopy every time I suggest he go to the bathroom--and he's been dry for two days. I'm guessing this isn't the end of it, given his personality, but I'm enjoying it while I can. I guess you never know what's going to work for your own little person.
With the aforementioned stubborn little man who resists visiting the toilet, one thing that sometimes helps is how I phrase things. DH will say something like "do you want to go to the bathroom?" and the answer is always NO! It's not fool-proof, but it seems to help if I say something like "Would you like to hold the dinosaur while you have a quick tinkle?" "Which book would you like to take to the potty with you?" so the question just assumes the potty bit and lets him choose about the other part. You probably are already doing that, but thought I'd mention it just in case.
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Thanks so much for your encouragement/advise. I think my son is like your friend's. It is a way that he has control over some aspect of his life. He is a super sweet little guy, but he definitely likes things a certain way. Transitions (even small ones, like bath time and getting out of the bath) are hard, and I need to prepare him, "5 minutes to bath time!" We've tried a lot. Rewards, underwear, lots of positive reinforcement. But whenever he gets upset, if we're out and about, or if there is a change in the routine, he doesn't want to go. It's not even that he forgets, he flat out refuses, and unless I insist and put a screaming thrashing little man on the toilet (which I've done) he won't go. Sometimes its an embarrassment thing, too. When I forced him to go, he had been refusing to pee for a week after his pee shot out of the toilet instead of inside it. It *really* bothers him when something like that happens, poor little guy! I guess when he's ready it'll happen. It's hard when its something *I* want to happen so much, and I really *don't* have any control. If only toddler poo smelled like BF poo - I wouldn't mind nearly so much 
I don't know if I should keep on with the OS, or see if the training pants will offer extra encouragement. Maybe I'll give 'em a try - it'll make me feel like I'm doing something! |
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I had a friend who was in a similar situation as you. She told me that what finally worked for her was that she made her daughter be independent about it all. She would tell her when to go to the bathroom as a reminder so that she wouldn't wet, but it was up to her daughter to choose to go. In the bathroom was a basket with clean pull-ups and another for dirty pull-ups. When her daughter wet she was responsible for changing herself. A little later the basket of pull-ups changed to a basket with clean underwear, clean pants, and towels to clean up any puddles. This put all the responsibility on the daughter, took away the fights, and everything happened very quickly. This would mean you would have to switch out of diapers.
With trainers I don't know what to suggest. My boys just turned two and I am debating on what to do for training pants. I did buy one of the ME training pants just to look at it and know that won't work. If my boys have on a Sandy with no cover and pee there is a huge puddle on the floor. The force of the pee would blow through that thin training pant. So I am probably going to make myself some thin AIO diapers that can snap pretty loose (so that they can be easily pulled on and off) and have a pocket in the back to add liners for more absorbancy.
Good luck on this! |
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| Just wanted to chime in again and agree with Karen--pull-on style is great except when they have poop accidents! We've had two poop in the underwear incidents in the past few days, and they are HORRIBLE once you try to deal with them. How not to get poop on the kicking legs? So personally I'm not sure I'd go there until you are pretty sure the poop is going to end up in the toilet. As my son doesn't seem to differentiate between underwear and diapers in terms of holding it (some kids view diapers as freedom to pee), we're back in diapers until he is a little more reliable. |
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Well, I got our training pants, they're in the wash, so we'll see what happens!
I like the idea of making him independent about it, and to some extent he is, already, but I find (like the other challenges) it's just not possible with the poop (which at this point is the biggest problem). I'll have him get in the bath tub and take off his diaper, if it's not a squishy mess, we'll dump it in the potty, and then I have him wipe himself. This is the kicker. Yek. He doesn't have a problem with it, but unless I caught the accident right away (and even then, if it's a soft one..) there's sooo much mess that he can't do it/reach everywhere himself. He doesn't know when he's clean. And I have a hard time being consistent with this method. It's just too easy to change it myself, especially with the baby... |
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