|
|
|
|
|
|
hey guys. i am very sad to say this, but yesterday i had a miscarriage at 10 weeks pregnant. the date was august 24, 2010. it was diagnosed as spontaneous so it was neither anything that me nor my husband did to cause it to happen. we both are extremely broken up about it. i mean, i cannot even hear anything mentioning pregnancy or pregnancy prevention on tv without crying and i honestly never ever heard my husband cry like he did when they dropped the news. he was crying as hard as i was and did not even try to hide it. to be honest, i do not think that the baby was growing because i did not feel my uterus slowly expanding like it did during my first pregnancy. i was not even having morning sickness at all although my breasts were extremely sore. that was the only thing letting me know that i was pregnat in the first place besides the missing periods. in the er they got me in without any waiting and started an iv right away. i did not even refuse iv pain killers because i really did not want to be reminded that this was really happening. when i was in labor with my ds, i had nothing whatsoever because i wanted a totally drug free, hospital free birth which is exactly what i got but this time was different. i esentially went through labor unfortunately without a baby to show for it.
the er staff who were attending to me were very very empathetic and extremely caring though. the one male rn who gave me the rhogam shot to prevent anything like this happening again was actually holding my hand. he had an extremely good bedside manner. i think when i told him that, it made him blush because i could hear the blush in his voice. but i am slowly getting over the shock of this. if i do not think about it, i am fine. i mean, i need to come to terms with what happened and try to move on. the good news is that the midwife gave us the go ahead to try again once i am healed. we are going to take her advice and start working on it once she gives the go ahead in about a month or so. the only thing is that i want to get my body to its optimal state before going for it again because to be honest, i am terrified of this happening again.
oh yeah and this has never happened with any other er that i have been to, but they gave me a followup call today to see how i was feeling and if i was coping ok with the loss. i know that this post was ot and i am sorry for the novel, but i just wanted to get this off of my chest and to let my friends in the motherease community know what was going on.
thank you for reading.
|
|
|
|
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost two babies around 10 weeks too... it can be devestating and always so very, very sad.
Take care of yourself, Fire Dancer.
Julie |
|
|
|
| This is so sad, I wish you good health and happier times. |
|
|
|
I'm so sad for you. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult and painful this must for both of you. My heart goes out to you and your family. Take care of yourself.
Karen. |
|
|
|
| So sorry for your loss Fire Dancer... |
|
|
|
| thanks so much everyone for your kind words. it is day 2 on from this and the feelings are not so raw anymore. yes i am still grieving, but i have been talking to a friend who had the same thing happen about 6 months ago and she made me feel better. she said that maybe even now, we can get pregnant again at the same time lol. she will be doing cds with her future baby once she does conceive. |
|
|
|
| My heart goes out to you and your husband. We all grieve in different ways, and I was surprised at the toll it took on my husband when we had a similar loss after DD. Like you, I was afraid of a repeat, even after I became pregnant again. I hope it isn't too soon to say this, but one thing that surprised me when DS came along was that I rejoiced in my months of morning sickness. In fact, every uncomfortable aspect of pregnancy became a reassuring comfort that baby was well. Perhaps that may become a sliver of silver lining for you as well. |
|
|
|
| just to let you all know that my day was good yesterday. then i fell apart worse than ever last night. cried extremely hard for about an hour or so. but to tell you the truth, i think that when i get pregnant again, morning sickness will be comforting because with this last one, i had no nausea or anything. my belly was not even growing.yes, i was starting to show, but not that much at all. that was what was concerning me. got a question... i had the rhogam shot after everything was all over. how long does this shot last inside the body? how long will it continue to work? when should we start trying to get pregnant again? |
|
|
|
| Fire Dancer - I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at around 8-10 weeks as well - no morning sickness either. Just remember that it was not your fault. There may have been something wrong with the pregnancy but it was nothing that you could do. I know that doesn't really help but I'm here to listen if you need me to. I had an early miscarriage around 5.5 weeks as well. So I've been in that boat and felt very depressed and hopeless but I hope you get the support you need. Be happy for your DS and when it's right, try again. |
|
|
|
| another one of my family members on my dad's side just had a baby on the 17 of august and when i read that email, it tore open the fragile scab that was starting to form over my emotions again. i talked to my mother about that this morningand she told me not to hate the woman for having a baby and when i told her that my baby was born 7 months earlier than it should have been, she tactlessly said, "the baby was miscaried, not born." that even made me feel worse because miscarried or not, i still count the baby as being born because i did go through labor according to my midwife. and i dont care what my mother says, it was labor because the cramps were just as bad as transitional labor pains. i talked to my midwife this morning as well and she did make me feel better and she said that i should give it a month and try again. my body is almost physically healed judging by the bleeding. i have not bled at all today. she wants me to come into the birth center for a pap smear and also some counciling when i get a chance. |
|
|
|
| Oh yes, I remember that hateful feeling hearing about others who got pg while I couldn't...and I understand all too well. I had labour pains with my first miscarriage also...I think that's why my labour with DS was so quick. He was like my second baby - only 3.5h of labour. |
|
|
|
| wow only 3.5 hours? wow not bad at all. hey do you possibly have msn messenger? i need to get a support network of people who have been through the same thing and msn messenger is the only way that i can speak to them realtime via instant messaging. i already have 1 person on my messenger who has been through it as well. she was on there way before she miscarried though. she told me about it as it was happening and i was telling her that it will be ok and stuff but when hers happened, i did not yet know what the pain of one felt like. |
|
|
|
I have a cousin who is nearly the exact age that my first baby would have been. He was not a wanted pregnancy at first, so it was hard to deal with the fact that my baby hadn't made it, while the unwanted baby of this crazy aunt did. That was six years ago, and now I can look at him with curiosity, rather than pain, and know, too, that some of the positive things that happened in our life wouldn't have worked out in quite the same way if we'd had a baby according to the original plan. It was very raw at the time, especially as it was coupled with a job loss that ruled out trying again for a while, but time does heal. Give yourself time and permission to grieve. Although there are loads of suggestions out there for "healthy" grieving with a loss, you're the only one who can really know. I did a lot of reading up and participating in boards and all, but finally reached a point where I felt it was holding me in sadness. It was helpful to a point, but then I realized that I needed to move on.
When we lost my mother-in-law last year, having my boys around complicated so many things, and kept me from sitting down to really consider it all. In a way, though, it was a blessing, too, watching their lives that were so important to their grandma, having to keep going for their sakes. I hope that caring for your beautiful and healthy son will give you something positive to focus on, too. |
|
|
|
| Fire dancer - no, I don't use MSN Messenger anymore...you could email me at meisiu @ shaw.ca or find me on FB. I am a member of the ME page. |
|
|
|
| just to let everyone know that i am doing much better both in the physical and emotional aspects. we are going to see the midwife this upcoming tuesday to do a pap smear, as well as a followup that the hospital wanted me to have. she is also going to assess our readiness to start trying again. it has almost been 2 weeks since this happened, but you know what? now i am looking at it as just a bit of a bump in the road, something that we will be able to get over and go on with our lives. i mean yes, it is still a significant event that sent us both over the edge for a while, but i do feel better because i put a personal message on both my msn messenger and skype, as well as a signature in my mothering.com profile, remembering the baby and how happy that we were to have him/her with us for the short 2 months that we did. it kind of comforts me to think about our lil angel flying around up there, happy and care free and loving the blissful life that he/she has. |
|
|
|
| Fire dancer - that's great to hear - that you have taken the time to grieve but also move on. Now to start trying again! Yippee! We're going to start ttc#2 now too! |
|
|
|
| sends baby dust your way my friend. good luck! |
|
|
|
| oh just to ask about this, the day of the loss was the final day that my son nursed. he has been off of the breast for almost 2 weeks. the only problem though is that i still have milk in my breasts and it does not seem to be drying up. i am not producing anymore. the same amount of milk is just there. what can i do? |
|
|
|
I'm no expert, but if you are not uncomfortable, leave it and it will dry up eventually, no need to do anything...
Glad to hear that you are feeling better! |
|
|
|
